I just returned from a book signing event in my hometown of Redwood Falls. Redwood Falls, Minnesota is a town of about 5000 people and is 2 hours (we use time instead of distance) southwest of the Twin Cities. Sort of like those on the coasts like to think the Midwest as “fly over” territory, people in the Twin Cities at times tend to think of rural areas as, well, provincial.

They’d be wrong.

As I greeted women and signed books at A & W Furniture and Gifts,one of the largest furniture show rooms in Minnesota, I was once again reminded of the lovely women from where I was raised. The women who we saw every day as our teachers, secretaries, board members and Moms – those Mom’s who showed up for Parent/Teacher conferences and sporting events and who we secretly compared to our own. What I remember, "back then,” was that the ladies in my hometown knew how to make themselves attractive. They had their hair done, their nails were manicured, and they wore fresh and classic looks that represented their sense of style. Their look was based on appropriate for the occasion. Women dressed up for church, out of respect. Teachers dressed professionally and attractively out of respect for their profession and their students. Men wore jackets. Sales clerks got ready for work. Moms walked through the park with tans, short shorts, and cute figures. Though the community’s industry was based primarily on agriculture and manufacturing, there was a sense of respect and pride in appearance that raised the image of the small community.

But the world changed. Casual, relaxed, comfortable and “who cares?” took over in the 70’s and 80’s and by the time we hit the 90’s it had transformed the urban, took over the sub-urban and slayed the rural with a vengeance. Cut-off shorts and sweats at Church? Absolutely.

“God doesn’t care what you wear.”

Ill fitting, poorly made flimsy knits suctioned to figures that embraced curly fries?

“I’m just running to the store.”

But I was given a gift last night. A reminder that not everyone has “gone with it.” I was reminded as I saw those same teachers, secretaries, board members and Mom’s, now older but still oddly as I remember them, of what I loved about my home town. A sense of right. A sense of respect for the occasion. An effort made when it would be so much easier to not. A belief that it doesn’t matter where you live; it is how you live.

I knew they did it, in part, for me. They know I have become “The Makeover Guy” and I was signing a book about beauty. They knew I’d notice. But I also knew they did it for themselves. They “got ready.”

And I realized again that it is from those women, in large part, that I built my voice. Their influence helped in how I wrote my book and to whom I was speaking. And it reminded me of what I loved about growing up in a town that took pride in its appearance, its sense and respect for occasion. It reminded me that how we appear speaks so much more about our self respect and respect for others than anything we do or say.

You won’t convince me that appearance isn’t important. It certainly isn’t everything, but it represents everything you are saying when there isn’t time to say a thing.

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The Book Signing Event in Redwood Falls, MN
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Classmate Erik Scholl's Mom, Bev and his sister Jane
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English Teacher Sandi Schwartz getting "free" advice
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Aunt Mary Wetmore and her daughter Emily (who would want me to make a point that she is pregnant here).