Every once in a while I get a letter that saves me from having to write a blog. This is one of them!

Christopher,

I know you hear this all the time and I will try to curb my gushing but I have to at least tell you what a huge blessing you are to me. My husband went up to Borders on Friday to use a 25% coupon before it expired and I was about ready to leave without using it (thus saving 100%!) but my husband came over to where I was paging through an ancient History book (one of my passions) and showed me your book.

It was a “meant to be” moment and the history book was immediately replaced and we hustled out of there with your book so that I could go home and start my first skim through it. It was wonderful!

So I read it through a second time, this time answering the questions and highlighting the parts that are so “ME”. Like how to tell when your hair is too long. EVERY ONE OF THEM IS ME!

Actually, five years ago I had cancer (doesn’t everyone! :o) and lost my hair. So I went from bald to hair-to-my-waist in five years. It was glorious and wonderful and a goal I’d wanted to achieve all my life and then just a pain because it was way too time consuming for such minimal results. I have a small head (I’ve known this all my life – my term for it is pointy head – but when I got my chemo wig, the lady who adjusted it for me said “you have a little head. It’s a tiny little thing!” Naturally it confirmed what I’d been saying all along and traumatized me at the same time.) But moving right along – said tiny little head with waist length hair that just hangs there makes a feature that much more …pointy! Besides, it really didn’t suit me except in my mind.

So, and here your book was right on the money again!, I went to have it cut. Styled, if you will! And walked away so imperceptibly changed that no one at work even noticed. I had to tell my best friend! I had about 5 inches cut off, it’s now to my bra strap, but the style is about the same. How lame is that?!

So reading your book and sticking bright stickies at all the best pages was a wonderful adventure this weekend. I actually closed it on Sunday evening, after a third time through, with just one major sensation in my heart: Hope. And for that I thank you. Looking at some of the pictures on your web page I can see the same look in the faces of some of the people. A sense of relief that they can talk to someone who won’t criticize them or judge them. Someone who only wants the very best for them.

And who couldn’t love someone who sees the best in you? Sees beauty where you only see tiredness, resignation, sadness, or fear?

Thank you, Christopher. Thank you.

Oh thank YOU. Helen.

The book tour starts tomorrow. Robert is coming along as my personal assistant. Without him I would lose everything including my wallet, luggage, itinerary, cell phone, and of course my train of thought.

Which was…oh yes, my tour schedule. These are the television stations where I will be appearing. I will also be doing radio, print and dropping into your local bookstore to sign books. So ask your local Barnes and Noble and Borders when I am expected. (Because I'm not exactly sure...I'll ask Robert).

Here goes:

May 21st, Hartford, Noon News Channel 8
May 22nd, 7:20 a.m. (Live) The Daily Buzz (Winter Park, Florida)

This is a syndicated show that will appear in 141 cities from Albuquerque, New Mexico to Zanesville, Ohio.

Check http://www.dailybuzz.tv/about/localstations.php to see when it airs in your town!

May 23rd, Tampa WFLA TV, “Daytime.” Also airs on sister stations:

Washington DC,WJAL
Raleigh Durham, NC,WNCN
Cincinnati, OHWBQC
Las Vegas, NE KPVM
Jacksonville, FL WCWJ
Wichita, KA KGPT
Savannah, GA WSAV
Charleston, SC WCBD
Augusta, GA WJBF
Columbus, GA WRBL

May 24th, Baltimore, 11 News Saturday
May 29th – June 1st, Los Angeles, Book Expo America
June 2nd, San Diego, KUSI-TV, Good Morning San Diego
June 3rd, Sacramento/KCRA-TV, KCRA 3 Reports at Noon

The book tour is sponsored by Garnier Nutrisse, Sally Hansen, and NYC New York Color Cosmetics.

Other news: Wal-mart just purchased several thousand books, so you can pick up a copy there, as well as Sam’s Club and Target.

Also I'm in Redbook this month, if you'd like to check that out.

Check out secondcherry.com. It's a fun review from a website dedicated to "women who refuse to mature."

I have every intention of keeping my blog going while on tour. This a great way to communicate with you, the one who is perhaps curious as to what a book tour is all about. All I know right this moment as I lie on my bed, dogs at my side, coffee on night stand, I have no idea what I'm doing nor what to expect.

So to help, I hope, I finally purchased a new cell phone. I absolutely hated having a cell phone, I didn't use it. It was always out of battery power so I rarely had it with me. The only phone calls I received were from solicitors. I do NOT like being distracted only to have someone attempt to convince me I should be investing in something. "I"m in the middle of a sentence and NO I DON'T WANT Uranium!"

Eh hem. The Iphone. Love. I'm addicted and I didn't even open a manual. Of course the "no problem" sales guy named Ek, convinced me it would be smooth as a summer breeze. "Just hook it up to your computer and it's done." I returned the next evening because I couldn't get mail or hook up to the internet. He pushed one button and boom, I was on Google. With a "see how simple it is and how stupid you are" smile he handed the phone back to me.

"Yeah, well I can't get email..."

About an hour later, and several attempts between he and his colleague (and a few see how simple it is and how stupid I am comments from me) I can pick up my email. From ONE of my accounts. So I am prepared to go off on tour with hopefully no extra technical challenges. The phone is, I am told, to make things simpler. That has not been my experience in the past.

So I've got the phone. I've got my computer, my script, my laundered shirts...Igot my suit pressed, got my best vest, all I need now, is the girl. Got my striped tie, got my hopes high, I got time on my hands and I got rhythm now I all need is the girl to go with them.

WHY must I ramble into show tunes at the least opportune moment? (left that wide open for you).

All in all I'm sitting here looking at clothes draped everywhere, a script I still need to learn, post cards, book marks, make up, hand sanitizer, breath mints, and I still need to pull out Robert's clothes (because, he will inevitably ask...what should I wear?) And I will scream YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THIS ALL WRITTEN DOWN IN YOUR NOTEBOOK!

And it will do no good.

As I wrap up this blog, it's time for me to go off into this uncharted territory and try to figure out what to wear in three different parts of the country on 5 different television shows. In some odd way, I LOVE IT. I'm looking forward to time traveling with my partner, who, apparently cannot be seated next to me unless I check in 24 hours before the flight and pay up to 30 bucks to find seats together.

The airlines. That's an entirely different blog. Check in tomorrow!

The tour begins today. If you’re interested, come back during the upcoming weeks for updates of the thrills and chills of what, at this point, is the unknown. Right now I’m learning the script.

“Garnier Nutrisse is made with grape seed and avocado oil to keep your hair healthy looking and is available at most drugstores…”

Wait until you hear about Sally Hansen’s Lip Fix Line Repair!!

Right now the airlines put us in separate middle seats and for the price of up to 30 dollars we can “try” to get seats together. Nice.

Check out the Minneapolis Star and Tribune article today. HUGE! Don’t forget to see the links in the side bar to see the makeovers. The actual paper version has some great photos including some of our staff, who work tirelessly to keep the makeover magic going at reVamp!

You can also see an audio slide show I whipped together with Kim Ode who wrote the article. However, with Rici’s makeover (gold crocheted vest) I meant to say it shortens her waist, not her legs. See how quickly a mistake can go into the press as fact?

Finally, I tell you what’s “in” on ivillage.com. Check it out.

First day in Hartford Connecticut. On the plane ride the flight attendant recognized me from the STRIB article and said she was coming to reVamp! for a haircut. We arrived, took a cab to the hotel in Farmington, NH, about 40 minutes and settled into the hotel room. I didn’t have internet, my iphone STILL doesn’t download itunes, didn’t get mail, and my computer didn’t get internet until we got a technician in the hotel.

But we managed to get it settled, and went to dinner at Max’s Oyster Bar, where Vicki, our lovely 38 year old waitron (server she prefers to be called), mother two, wife of a chef, recommended a lovely dinner. I went to the restroom where for the first time I encountered a man texting while using the urinal. Now, men usually do not speak when standing in that uncomfortable, pretending you don’t notice someone is next to you moment, but I couldn’t resist.

“Now that’s multitasking,” I said.

“Never a dull moment,” he replied.

We took a cab back to the hotel and are suitably fatigued

After seeing the men in this restaurant, and I’m sure it can’t be said for all of Hartford, but still, I wonder why I threw out all my blue button down collared, or pin striped oxfords when that is, apparently, complete with pleated gray slacks or khaki’s, the dress code. Lucky I brought my classics.

The realities of what is involved in a book tour now in my arsenal of experience, I finally have a moment to think. It's not so bad, actually. Like everything, it's how we respond to the events that make it how it is. I could easily make it frustrating. I mean, one's entire schedule and life is thrown imperceptibly out of whack. There is effort on P.R. and publishing people to make it more pleasant, but even they cannot predict the inevitable challenges of the airlines, the traffic, the hotel and the food.

There are the call in's to radio shows from the hotel room. If people could only see what you look like, they'd maybe rethink you as an expert. Some radio hosts are interested, which makes it fun, and some, like the A.M. host in Harford who said "Christopher Hopkins is here with his new book....um...what's the title, Christopher?"
that make it deflating.

There is media training. I put media training up there with voice training. I think I was probably a better singer before I had voice training, but of course you MUST have voice training, so I did. You can lose yourself when someone is retraining you on how do to it. But, back to responding to things positively, in the long run it's a good thing. Right?


Trying to be a good student.

During media training a 50 plus reporter, freneticism defined, burst into the room with her first question. -- to Robert.

"Who are you!?"

Caught off guard and flustered, he managed, "Christopher's...personal assistant."

"My Love Slave," I shot back, smiling. (Don't mess with my man, girl!)

Undaunted she turned to me, sat down, and began scribbling imperceptibly as I spoke.

"So, why not MEN over 45?"

? "Um. Well, I guess, I don't think they'd buy that book. Maybe if it were for women to makeover their man..."

"Well, don't you think men need a makeover?" (She is woman, she is posturing,I hear her roar.)

"Yes, but really, that isn't what I wanted to write about."

It's morning, I'm puffy and sitting under a florescent light with a north facing window to my side when out comes her digital camera. I move to face the light in hopes of some photo flattery, but, alas, when the article comes out, I realize my eye bags made their appearance for the camera.

Check it out in the Hartford Currant.

After spending countless rehearsals in my mind and audibly at dinner with Robert I knew I didn't quite have "Sally Hansen Line Fix Lip Repair and Volumizing Lip Shield available at Sally Hansen Lip Lab, Luminous Blonde Collection including rich colors like Vanilla Malt and Honey Butter by Garnier Nutrisse and Smooth MIneral Collection by NYC New York Color with a blend of mineral powders including Mica that minimize fine lines and imperfections....down pat. But the show goes on, ready or not.

Robert, my "personal assistant."

THE TOUR HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN!

So I whipped through it on air. (Click here, then click The Makeover Guy, to watch)

The at 6:00 a.m. the next morning a "media escort" picked us up and off we went to appear on what I must admit was one of the liveliest and exhaustingly entertaining syndicated morning shows called, "The Daily Buzz."

As the commercial drew to its close the anchor mentioned, "We only have about three minutes."

In other words, "I'm used to having to drag these things along, don't be boring, and get to the point."

I need no encouragement to speed up. But morning coffee and adrenalin in check, I was pretty much done in two minutes.

They asked me to stay for another segment an hour later, and I did. The media escort ran to a nearby fast food restaurant pick us up a "chicken in a biscuit, with tater tots and ketchup on the side." Mmm. More coffee.

At this point all those talking points whirling in my head I began to feel like I'd had a chip inserted into my hard drive that re-created the me I know closer to a robot that could not think for himself. I was not pleased.

Following "The Buzz", our media escorts drove us to book stores around Orlando for drop in book signings. Here I realized that no one really cares that you're an author. They don't really even seem to care that you just appeared on television in their city and they should be stocked with more than two books. They look at you more as if you are a mild irritant to their already miserable day of stocking books.

"What book?" "What's the name?" "We have two in stock."

Thunk.

I wasn't feeling good. Off center. I expressed my frustration via email to my publicist.

She encouraged me with a "that is so not nice what you are saying!!! Authors would kill for a tour like yours."

I was reminded why I keep my dark moments exclusively to Robert who has never in 20 years, put baby in the corner.

Be positive, be grateful, be polite. And carry a large stick.